Starting Up . . . Again

My surgery for my shoulder was back in June of '12. Now its mid February of  '13. I have put on weight constantly, and have not been successful yet in getting back into my health regimen. So here's another start date. I've got a few friends who also either need too lose weight or are willing to help me stay focused on my own health. I've been so self reliant and been the one who encouraged and helped others that I've neglected the help that friends have wanted to give me. I've got to deal with that and admit my own need for help.

In ministry among pastor's it has been referred to as the "walk on water" syndrome. The pastor has the job of being an example and helping others. He's looked up to, placed on a pedestal and expected to not have problems like other people. When the pastor begins to believe that about himself and then experiences problems, the failure of his ministry is not far off. That conflicted situation will undermine the pastors and cause him to multiply his problems, not solve them. The end result is ultimately ruin.

So the same thing can happen in the life of the individual trying to lead others toward fitness. In my case, I succeeded personally on a level that few ever attain. Then when my health and financial problems began, I just thought I would work my way out of it. I haven't. I've fallen deeper into it. I've got to have help. I can't pretend to walk on this water any longer.

I know what to do. I have the resources to reach  my goals. It is time to get on with it and reach them. But I'm enlisting help this time. I will let my friends who have said they will encourage me do that. I'll own up to my weaknesses and tackle them. I'll start building the discipline that I have let fall by the wayside. So today, yes, once again. today, I start. And I won't start the journey alone.

Here's a FaceBook post I made on the Upstate BeachBody Coaches page. Just thought it was important to keep myself honest here as well.

Feeling the need to do some confessing and making myself accountable. I don't know how many of the rest of you have found yourself in this place, but I've been struggling - and not well - with my motivation. Since last April when my shoulder problems first manifested i've had a hard time being that product of the product we're supposed to be. The shoulder really isn't a problem. That just seems to be where the problems began - the pain, the operation, the recovery. All that is behind me, but I'm just not rolling like I was.

I keep starting and stopping a 90 day program. Each week I begin with "I'm going to do better this week."  I've lost a lot of dearly gained ground in my health battle.

I don't want to give up, don't want to quit. If I never make a penny as a coach, I want to help myself and, having helped myself, to help others with this same battle. But getting focused is a challenge I've having a hard time tackling.

This is humbling. But I don't want to continue missing important goals in my life just to keep hubris in tack.

I've never personally met most of you, but many of us have chatted and shared a good bit on here about health and what we're doing. I know I'm the only one who can "fix" me, but maybe someone out there has been this way and might offer some insights.

And maybe just getting honestly accountable is what I need to do. Still in the battle with you, just struggling.